For over a month I have been wanting to do some devotional on pain, and now I feel is the time.
More specifically, I want to talk about dealing with grief, which I here define as a pain that stems from a loss. We associate grief with death, but that's not the only way you can lose a loved one. The woman who loses her son to gangs, her sister to drugs, her boyfriend to another woman, or even her best friend to her own selfish desires equally feels sorrow.
That's the first of five principles you should keep in my mind:
1. Realize that you're hurt.
Don't be ashamed. There is no shame in shedding a tear. It's good to be strong and courageous, but it doesn't show a lack of faith to say that you are pain. Acknowledge it. For a long time, I would not tell anyone what was going on in my life, inside and outside, kept my depression to myself, let it eat me up inside. I felt that God put people in my life who "have it a lot worse" so I had no right to complain. But I realized now that I could not have been more wrong. To say that someone else has a worse life than me is to say that God is unfair. And He surely is not. God is merciful and just to EVERYONE. You are not exclusively His child. You do receive grace, or unmerited favor, but you do NOT receive special attention. He loves EACH person individually. So yes, you are going through a rough time. It's rough for you - admitting it only admits that you are human and weak, which is the truth.
2. Know that God put it in your life for a reason.
One of my favorite characteristics of God is his eternal nature, how He is able to see all of time at once as if it were every page in the book of history strewn about before Him. He knows you. He knows everything about you. The Bible says the very hairs on your head are numbered [Matthew 10:30]. He knows your body; He knows you physically. The Bible also says that God looks at the heart [1 Samuel 16:7] - He knows you emotionally. He knows your every thought so He knows you mentally. Need I go on? He knows you. He knows you so well because He loves you so much; only a person passionate about a subject will investigate every detail of it. He loves you with a passion.
Now that we have that established, do you honestly believe that God would put you through pain for no reason? The reason may not be apparent but He will reveal it in time, though maybe not to you. Job never saw the book that was written about his life, so famous today that it's studied in philosophy classes throughout the nation. Sometimes you'll never understand why you go through a trial, but it is a trial - it is to try you. You will get stronger in the end.
3. Remember and record every step of the way because it will be your testimony.
You yourself may not receive true benefit that comes from the experience, but guess what? You weren't meant to. Your tribulations are not for you; they are for another. There's another girl whose cousin fell through the cracks and now you know to tell her how to deal with a loved one battling addiction. There's a teenager who feels like she's losing her father to his own selfishness who you can help. There's a wife who thinks she cannot cope with her husbands adultery whose hand you can hold. It may not be now or even soon, but you can help. You will help. Your experience is your ministry. That's why it's so crucial to record in any way suitable to you the way you got through this. Because you will get through this.
4. Remind yourself that you are not alone.
God is always there. Focus on that fact. Recall the previous devotional on letting God be a three-dimensional part of your life. He can be if you let Him. He wants nothing more than to scoop you in arms and hold you tight. And He does it every morning when He sends you his sun. He proclaims His love for you every night with billions of stars. Even if you can’t “feel” Him, He’s there. He hears your prayers. He sees your tears. Even if every waking moment is filled with pain, He blessed you with fragility so that at some point you have to sleep. Your pain is not perpetual.
He has not left you, _____. I wish I could know all of your names so I could write it out 250 times with each of your names after the comma. “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” [Deuteronomy 31:6] That’s His promise to you. And God cannot lie – He is too powerful. Anything He speaks automatically becomes the truth. So He meant it, my friend. He never, ever leaves. There’s nothing that you can do can push Him to the point of giving up. “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” [Romans 8:38, 39]
5. Call on a friend.
A human friend. God placed people into your life for a reason. No one, not even Jesus Himself, went through life alone. Sure there are times when you need to be by yourself. We just established that God is always there for you. But there is a power that comes with human interaction - simply put, it heals. Don’t avoid your problem; please, talk about it. My suggestion is to first go to a Christian friend who will know that God is the ultimate source of comfort and strength. But even if you can only talk to an understanding non-Christian, turn to them. You cannot and should not go through this by yourself.
I’ll leave you with the word’s from Kirk Franklin’s song “Afterwhile.”
Afterwhile, afterwhile
This too shall past, afterwhile
Scars will heal,
You'll love again
It won't hurt you afterwhile
It won't hurt afterwhile
Stuck between if and when
You prayed and tried
But still no end
God's purpose soon you'll understand
It won't hurt you afterwhile
It won't hurt you afterwhile
Afterwhile, afterwhile
This too shall past, afterwhile
Scars will heal,
You'll love again
It won't hurt afterwhile
So when the pain has come to end
And now your heart is whole again
Help someone who needs to know
That it won't hurt them afterwhile
It won't hurt them afterwhile
It won't hurt them afterwhile
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Proverbs 31 woman - Post 21
Day 21 – Prov. 31:31
"Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates."
- (New King James Version)
We ended the last devotional saying that "when you remember to fear Him (revere Him), then you shall be praised." And here we see it.
Our speaker, recall, is a mother who is telling her son the right woman to look for. Most people know how hard it is to please a mother-in-law ;) But here we see her actually imploring her audience "GIVE HER the fruits of her labor." Our virtuous woman has lived a life so ... well, virtuous, that perhaps one of the last people to praise her cannot deny her her due rewards. What an amazing life she must have led!
I find myself smiling again as I address the second part of the verse. "Let her own works praise her ..." Probably the only woman worthy enough to toot her own horn must now bear with another restriction (though I hesitate to use that word). She never boasts of her good deeds, but lets her good deeds boast for her. But this really isn't a restriction because, as we've addressed numerous times before, pride is itself a trap, and completely unfounded since she has nothing to be proud of - GOD provided her with every good trait.
And HE in the end will be the rewarder. Countless times I've read this passage, these 22 verses, and been so awestruck by the last verse that I missed the message in the last phrase. "In the gates ..." I associated it with the same gates in which her husband is known, when he sits among the elders of the land. I found such honor in her being known among the people as a virtuous woman. Surely, this is how her works speak as a testimony of her virtue. But then I realized that I was thinking too small.
It's too small an act to be honored by her husband or her children. It's too small an act to be honored by the maidservants for whom she loving provided clothing and a meal. It's too small for her to be honored by the merchants who go to far away lands and still can attest that they've never met a woman as fantastic as she. It's even too small for her to be honored by the elders of the land, whose word is law.
Similarly, it's too small an act for a virtuous woman in our time to just be honored by her family. It's too small for her to be honored and revered by those with whom she works (with or under). It's too small for her to be honored by the educated class, the worldly, the "cultured" and well-rounded, who think they've seen it all and thus feel themselves apt to judge. It's even too small for her to be honored by the kings/rulers/presidents what-have-you of this world, who with one word can alter the course of history.
No, this is too small. And if she were not to be honored by any of these, it would be okay. Because in the end, her works would praise her "in the gates." Those gates that so many virtuous women have seen but whose names have never been mentioned in any book, magazine, or Facebook message. Those gates that open to a glorious home, where each brick was laid for each of her acts of righteousness mortared with love and affection, not self-satisfaction. Those gates where her Savior stands, ready to greet her with open arms. How we long for those gates!
Can we see it now? Can we understand the gravity of the task we are undertaking? To make the vow of living a virtuous life - what an investment in our future! And each day as we grow closer to Him, we reflect Him more and more, until our face shines like Moses when he came down from the mountain. This is our true beauty - the glory of God that resides in each us, manifesting itself in faith, hope, purity, and love.
showcase your true beauty.
God bless,
Alisha Philip
Proverbs 31 woman - Post 20
Day 20 – Prov. 31:30
"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."
- (New King James Version)
I can't tell you how many times I hear stories like this: "I can't walk out of the house without makeup." "I work in a higher profession - it requires me to look good." "I get more respect/attention when I look better."
I've said before that these mini message sets are not against any show of outer beauty, but they are not necessarily for it either. I really love this verse because it reminds of a time when I too was unable to look past my own exterior. God had a plethora of riches stored up inside, but I was took preoccupied with decorating the outside of this vessel. But beauty fades as quickly as it comes. So why immerse yourself into its troubles in the first place?
The world, I feel has caught on to this notion, and turned it into an anti-establishment, let-your-hair-flow-free, go-all-natural fashion craze. They tell us that the true beauty comes in confidence. "Guys love a girl who's confident in herself." This may or may not be true. But here we see that "charm is deceitful," and I've come to realize that it is. We become so confident in ourselves, charm our way into a boy's heart and for what purpose? Who are you making yourself out to be? He's falling in love with an image, a mirage, a hologram (or hallow-gram as I like to think of it). What is there to gain from that?
There's nothing wrong with being happy with who you are, but there's everything wrong with being proud of it. Why? Because you can only really be proud of something you completely controlled and turned out perfect. You are perfect (in God's eyes), but it's not a result of your actions. HE made you beautiful, inside and out. HE gave you the ability to sing, dance, speak, draw, act, think, listen, care, forgive, love. Whatever makes you you was a gift from God to share with the world. That makes you very precious, but He is the one who gave you your worth. When you remember that, when you remember to fear Him (revere Him), then you shall be praised.
showcase your true beauty.
God bless,
Proverbs 31 woman - Post 19
Day 19 – Prov. 31:28, 29
- (New King James Version)
And here it is. The one I've been saying would come, and you just had to take my word for it. We always knew this woman was praiseworthy, but we had yet to see her getting praised. It's funny how Day 16's verse (v. 25) taunts a little, saying that "she shall rejoice in the time to come," suggesting that she will be praised and thus justified, but qualifies it by saying in such future time.
Finally, as we approach the end of this passage, we see her getting her "just desserts." We spoke on numerous occasions of the faith principle, how you have to put in the work now and trust in God to give you the reward in the end (in fact we saw that yesterday).
But here's the beautiful thing. Look at who is praising her. It's her family - those that know her best. The hardest thing in the world is to get people who know you to praise you. They see your flaws on a DAILY basis, and love you still, though sometimes through obligation. But for them to praise you, you need to be a spectacular type of woman.
Indeed her husband tells her that, "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.” And this same man, recall, sits among the elders of the land, so he has probably seen the best of the best. Still he can say this compliment honestly.
Her children even call her blessed. That is perhaps even more important, because we all know that the one true legacy we leave is our future generation. So, though her children are too young to see and appreciate her dedication, they are not too recognize how good they have it. They know that she is a blessed woman, and in turn uses it to bless others.
Live a life that makes you praiseworthy.
showcase your true beauty.
God bless,
Proverbs 31 woman - Post 18
Day 18 – Prov. 31:27
"She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness."
- (New King James Version)
Today's virtue: vigilance. Defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as, "alert watchfulness," vigilance is one of those things I like to consider as a "higher" virtue. I am in no way implying that some virtues are greater than others, but I do believe that some take longer to require.
I'm struggling, admittedly, to look at this verse from a new perspective. There's just such a unity in this entire passage so that I find myself repeating what was said in the past. But reinforcement is always for a reason, and perhaps someone today needed to hear this one more time.
Recall on Day 12 when we discussed preparedness. Our virtuous woman took the effort to prepare her house against the snowstorms of life, covering ALL her household in scarlet, which I suggested to represent the blood of our Savior. We also discussed, on numerous occasions, about how life is an active process - that you have to go out and get what you need. It's encourage again in the latter portion of this verse: she "does not eat the bread of idleness."
But the activity described here is interesting because it is not something others would take notice of. To be vigilant, or watchful, is often overlooked. At least when she was preparing, we could see our woman busily working away, and so she'll be praised undoubtedly for it. I take vigilance here, however, to represent those things we do not to be praised by others, and not even to serve as a testimony for others. It's those things that we do because if we don't we'll suffer in the end. And no one's going to appeal to you before to do it and no one's going applaud you after for doing it.
It's sounds rather laborious, doesn't it? Why would anyone in their right mind add to their workload? Sometimes, though, we need to look at the benefits in the future and make the little sacrifice now. And this is why I said it can be seen as "higher" virtue, because only after having learned to discipline yourself in the other ways mentioned can you foresee future failures and prevent them. You will get there though, I assure you.
showcase your beauty.
God bless,
Proverbs 31 woman - Post 17
Day 17 – Prov. 31:26
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness."
- (New King James Version)
A good friend of mine always says, "God is a funny one." It seems to apply here. I love how He so nonchalantly tells us to submit ourselves to wisdom and kindness as we speak, as if it were the easiest thing to do. =)
But, if you think about it, it kind of is. "She OPENS her mouth with wisdom." In other words, if you have nothing wise to say, don't say it; or, as my father always admonishes me, "Think before you talk." Proverbs 17:28 speaks the truth: "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." So think twice before even considering making a comment. Does it reflect the wisdom of God, His love, His praise?
And by what do you govern what you say? By the "law of kindness." If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Isn't it funny how these little cliches we grew up with seem to have more wisdom than we previously thought? Maybe these truths are not only universal, but unending in their relativity to our lives.
And you'll notice that these traits are indeed universal. Almost every culture, at least every one with which I've come into contact, has stories depicting strong women as those who are kind but shrewd. So how about today we take it to another level? We show ourselves to not only be strong women, but "strong Christian women," who seek to be admirable not to exalt themselves, but to exalt the One who made them.
showcase your true beauty.
God bless,
Proverbs 31 woman - Post 16
Day 16 – Prov. 31:25
"Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come."
- (New King James Version)
Does this verse conflict with the one that speaks of her clothing being "fine linen and purple"? I think not. Can a woman dress herself in this day and age in beautiful garments and still consider herself adorned in "strength and honor"? I think so.
These sets of messages are a rant for nor against makeup, jewelry, or fashionable clothing. They merely are meant to encourage you to look at the beauty inside and show it outwardly. It's not something to be hidden. Wear yourself with dignity. Be proud of who you are in Him. Be proud to be His dearest princess. Yes, you. You as an individual, not just a member of this FB group. God looks at me and says, "I love you, Alisha, with all my heart. And I long for the day when you will give me all of your heart. I long for the day when you'll see me as I see you, and are unafraid to show this to the world, no matter what the consequence."
Showing who you really are can be frightening - I know, I feel it daily. But God has encouraged today (literally) to let you know that I may be swimming upstream, against the current, but I know where I'm going, and I'm only getting stronger in the process.
So say this to yourself today, filling in your name, in front of a mirror, looking directly eye-to-eye. "God loves me, ___, with all His heart. And He longs for the day when I will give Him all of my heart. He longs for the day when I'll see Him as He sees me, and am unafraid to show this to the world, no matter what the consequence." Believe it to be true, because it is, and you SHALL "rejoice in the time to come."
showcase your true beauty.
God bless,
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