Family

* Scriptures taken from Biblegateway.com

As the Easter season is upon us, I think about the joy I get from spending time with my both my biological family and my spiritual one. At the same time, I cannot help but think about my friends who will be unable to celebrate Easter with their family, those who carry the burden of desperately wanting to see their family members come to Christ. I understand.

Lately, God has been showing me a lot about families and why He instituted it. Family was the basic structural unit from the beginning. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." [Genesis 2:24] Family begins with marriage and continues on until death. At death, we join our spiritual family. It is important to realize this, because sometimes I think people are under the impression that when a family member passes, they continue their role in the family. For example, if a grandfather passes, some feel they can pray to the grandfather and continue to request his guidance. Jesus addresses this issue when speaking to the Sadducees in Matthew 22:23-33. This sect questioned Jesus about a woman who had been married to a man with seven brothers. The man passed before an heir was produced, so according to Jewish law it was the duty of the brothers to produce an heir for him, so that his inheritance may not be lost. They asked Jesus to whom would the wife be married at resurrection. Jesus answered, "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven." Now if there is no marriage when we leave this world (save for the marriage of the Lamb) and marriage is the foundation of a family, then there can be no family unit (except for the universal church family). That is what makes it stewardship; we are responsible to our families but for a time, because ultimately they are God's.

The family on earth originally was meant to consist of a man, his wife, and their children. The children were to grow up and leave their home to start their own families, so that they could "be fruitful and multiply ... fill the earth and subdue it." [Genesis 1:28] Of course today the structure of the family unit is not as simple as a nuclear family. There are one-parent homes, no parent homes, and homes with various members of extended family. The show "Full House" comes to mind. Are these families in disobedience to God by not having His original setup? I think we know the answer is no. But certainly God instituted the structure for a reason, and when positions are lacking we try to fill the void with the "next best thing." Some of us do not use the best discretion in choosing with what we fill the hole, and are left embittered and more broken-hearted than before. I understand.

That's why I have a special prayer this Easter. I pray that all of you are able to have for yourself family figures: a father, mother, brother, and sister. A "father" can teach us women the role men should play in society, and also show us love as Christ has loved us. A "mother" can show by example how to be submissive (not subjected) to her husband. A "brother" offers practice, showing us how to deal with men when the generational gap with our fathers raises questions. And a "sister" so that we can learn fellowship, and not the harsh cat-like behavior shown when media portrays female relationships. Certainly, we will be able to receive much from these kinships.

I cannot, however, stress enough that we are required to give much as well. As I am writing this devotional, I lie in my grandmother's bedroom, the site of countless prayers offered daily. And as I said my nightly prayer yesterday, I realized that one day I would have to take up the reign and intercede for my family as she has for so many years. Prayer is, after all, the best thing you can do for a family member, for I promise you that it truly works miracles. I tried something new; I prayed for each family member by name and asked God to make me a better daughter/granddaughter/sister/neice/cousin.

As I did so, I knew what I was really asking - the humility to learn what that relationship would entail. For those older than me, it would mean I'd have to learn how to give proper respect in exchange for being taken care of, i.e. learning to be submissive. We can consider this relationship as a type for our relationship with our heavenly Father. He takes care of us and nurtures us, and in exchange we offer our humble gratitude and utmost respect. I know personally of a few rebellious teens whose improvement in their relationship with God was simultaneous with an improvement in their familial relationships. I don't think this a mere coincidence. For those younger than me, it requires me to be less selfish and more giving. This duty parallels that of an minister, to give sound counsel and lead by example. If any of you be 'elders' in your household, understand your God-given position of authority that is coupled with responsibility.

Many of these ideals are embraced in traditional ethnic communities, so for some of you it is nothing new, and for others it will sound too conservative (and I'm sure some fall into both categories). These things are hard to swallow, especially when we're in a point in our lives where ethnic traditions interfere with our pursuit of self-actualization. Separating ourselves from our families for the sake of personal growth is important, but it does not relinquish us from our obligation to care for our family members. That's another thing family teaches us - obligatory love. No matter how deeply a family member hurts us, if they apologize, then there is something inside of us that has to forgive. Whether or not we want to, it just has to forgive- because in the end, we're family. It's probably the closest thing to grace we can experience on human terms. Anyone who has not felt this kind of love in their family, know that I am truly sorry. But Christ is calling you to step out of your harsh upbringing so that the generational curse of conditional love would end here and now. Make the decision to be the person who forgives mercifully.

We all should make the decision to be better family members. It's difficult to be submissive and it's hard to be responsible. Again, I understand. But as I think about the resurrection and ascenscion of Christ, the day when heaven's Family was reunited in part and longs for the day when we're reunited in whole, I long to have a family that is at least a glimpse of the glory to come. And I know I want to do whatever I can to make it so.

God bless,
Alisha